He's hurt her by letting this be the way his desire surfaced, and yet he can't be entirely sorry, because this conversation is happening, and he'd never have dared otherwise.
But she talks of a future, and his lips press tightly. Inside, he wants to assuage those concerns; he already knows he would follow her to the ends of the world if she'd have him, as her lover, if she wanted yes, but as her knight. He's no fool though. He's a war criminal, and she is a queen, and some day she will need an heir, and the most he can offer her is a steady presence and a warm bed when she wishes it. If she wishes a husband, he is a poor option.
And yet, some part of him wants to argue it anyway, and that is unlike him, and so he keeps it buried, tries to start packing those feelings away again.
Except that question is not a demand he leave this be. He doesn't trust his read of words and tone, but the arm on his...
"Yes," he says, flushing as he does, even if he forces himself to hold her eye. If he's made himself a fool, he may as well lay the truth before her. "I--" Gods, why is speech so difficult? "Have feelings for you." It feels like too big an admission, and yet woefully short of what he wants to say.
"But you deserve that confession when I am sober, if you'll have it."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-08-06 01:24 am (UTC)But she talks of a future, and his lips press tightly. Inside, he wants to assuage those concerns; he already knows he would follow her to the ends of the world if she'd have him, as her lover, if she wanted yes, but as her knight. He's no fool though. He's a war criminal, and she is a queen, and some day she will need an heir, and the most he can offer her is a steady presence and a warm bed when she wishes it. If she wishes a husband, he is a poor option.
And yet, some part of him wants to argue it anyway, and that is unlike him, and so he keeps it buried, tries to start packing those feelings away again.
Except that question is not a demand he leave this be. He doesn't trust his read of words and tone, but the arm on his...
"Yes," he says, flushing as he does, even if he forces himself to hold her eye. If he's made himself a fool, he may as well lay the truth before her. "I--" Gods, why is speech so difficult? "Have feelings for you." It feels like too big an admission, and yet woefully short of what he wants to say.
"But you deserve that confession when I am sober, if you'll have it."