He doesn't let himself look at her, not really. The seat she's taken feels like a throne, and that makes some piece of this easier even as it makes the other harder. He made up his mind to be true to his word, and so he shuts the door and kneels before her, hands balled into fists on his knees. She is his charge, yes, and his would-be queen. But traveling like this -- she is also his companion, as blasphemous as it is. They have fought side by side, they have dined side by side, and somewhere in all that, he has seen her as a woman first, a solider second, and a queen third.
It is not proper, and it is not right, and yet it is the truth of things, and he has never had much deftness as politics or deceit.
"I need to apologize to you twice over, Lady Ashelia. First for my behavior last night, and second for my behavior today." He takes a deep breath in through his nose to steady himself, and then turns his face up so he can meet her gaze.
"I was uncouth, but I was not dishonest. Our circumstances are strange, and they have led me to forget my place and yours. I should not have made that even more complicated by admitting myself to you intoxicated. Please know, though, the morning does not change my feelings. I wish to serve you as your knight, and as much as I had kept my desire in check before last night, I wish to serve you as a companion serves his the woman who holds his heart. I can do one while not being allowed the other with truly no qualms, my lady, but I understand the desire itself may well negate your interest in my services at all."
His voice, curse it, cracks in the delivery of that last portion.
"I will respect whatever choice you make in regards to my further role in this team. You must succeed, and if I am a hindrance in any way to that end, I implore you to dismiss me."
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2023-08-07 04:16 am (UTC)It is not proper, and it is not right, and yet it is the truth of things, and he has never had much deftness as politics or deceit.
"I need to apologize to you twice over, Lady Ashelia. First for my behavior last night, and second for my behavior today." He takes a deep breath in through his nose to steady himself, and then turns his face up so he can meet her gaze.
"I was uncouth, but I was not dishonest. Our circumstances are strange, and they have led me to forget my place and yours. I should not have made that even more complicated by admitting myself to you intoxicated. Please know, though, the morning does not change my feelings. I wish to serve you as your knight, and as much as I had kept my desire in check before last night, I wish to serve you as a companion serves his the woman who holds his heart. I can do one while not being allowed the other with truly no qualms, my lady, but I understand the desire itself may well negate your interest in my services at all."
His voice, curse it, cracks in the delivery of that last portion.
"I will respect whatever choice you make in regards to my further role in this team. You must succeed, and if I am a hindrance in any way to that end, I implore you to dismiss me."