[he's closer than he thinks—this ultimately has more to do with Olivine's thoughts on himself, and the rigid certainty that he should be anything but what he actually is. after all...]
Mm. [he nods understanding at that, shifting to nestle in a little closer, to perhaps hide himself a little against Basch's side. because Basch is safety, he's proven that time and again.] I think it comes from being used to helping others, perhaps. At least, that's what I can imagine for both of us.
It's lonely. [no denial there.] I didn't actually know that was what I was feeling until it was too late. My parents are—both very reputable priests with the church, so it was always known that I would be taking after them, especially when I was born with a gemstone, able to help regulate our elemental altars. I worked hard, and I was always busy with classes. Other students rarely paid any attention to me, other than to express their awe in my work. I didn't know how to tell them it was just... hard work and wanting my parents and God to be proud of me, because I was afraid to fail them. I still feel like I am failing them.
[just saying it is visibly difficult for him, shoulders tense and gaze downcast. Basch has seen how they act around him now—the idea of admitting this to anyone can only have gotten harder as time went on.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2024-06-05 04:55 am (UTC)Mm. [he nods understanding at that, shifting to nestle in a little closer, to perhaps hide himself a little against Basch's side. because Basch is safety, he's proven that time and again.] I think it comes from being used to helping others, perhaps. At least, that's what I can imagine for both of us.
It's lonely. [no denial there.] I didn't actually know that was what I was feeling until it was too late. My parents are—both very reputable priests with the church, so it was always known that I would be taking after them, especially when I was born with a gemstone, able to help regulate our elemental altars. I worked hard, and I was always busy with classes. Other students rarely paid any attention to me, other than to express their awe in my work. I didn't know how to tell them it was just... hard work and wanting my parents and God to be proud of me, because I was afraid to fail them. I still feel like I am failing them.
[just saying it is visibly difficult for him, shoulders tense and gaze downcast. Basch has seen how they act around him now—the idea of admitting this to anyone can only have gotten harder as time went on.]