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[bardische]

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[bardische]

[ he already thinks he can't possibly feel higher, but then Olivine keens and comes in turn. Basch whines, overwhelmed with warmth and affection and the deep, deep pleasure of being claimed and claimant. Without even thinking, he collapses to the side, pulling Olivine down with him and tucking the other inside his hold, nuzzling against his neck before biting again -- lightly this time, an affectionate hold as opposed to anything erotic.

His hands stroke the other's stomach, one trailing near his gemstone, thighs wrapped tight around him.

He can hardly think. This is perfect bliss. ]

[massochism]

[pulling him down and into Basch's hold issues a soft noise and a groan, weight resting back against the warmth of his fuzzy chest without any hesitation. a light bite earns a sigh, eyes falling closed as he comes down from his orgasm. the mess feels perfectly distant, especially with the bulk of it locked behind the taller man's knot, and that reminder is just wonderful.

hands stroke his stomach and he reaches to rest his atop them, making no effort to stop them but wanting the contact. something murmurs past his lips, but even he can barely tell what he was trying to say. it's just a tender, loving sound.]

[bardische]

[ loving. It's the right word, and he feels the warmth of it between them, growling and sighing into Olivine's hair as he continues to stroke the other's stomach. He's in a lulled haze, and it isn't long before he drifts into sleep, still knotted to the other, still thoughtless other than bliss.

When he wakes, the knot is still tight, the warmth still there, but fur has dissipated, hands are hands, and when he shifts back, pulling that sensitive knot and a moan with it, panic suddenly jarrs through his thoughts.

Gods what has he done? He -- he --

He mated. He --

His grip gets tense, clammy, and then abruptly releases, except he can't ease away. Doesn't want to, but doesn't feel like he ought to be here, still inside Olivine, in Olivine in the first place.

His breathing becomes more shallow, and all he wants to do is bury his face in the other's back, except that's exactly what he shouldn't be doing. ]

[massochism]

[the shift of that knot causes him to stir, slowly but surely. hands shift, his grip tightens and then releases, and by that moment the priest is shifting too, inhaling a slow, contented breath.]

Mmn... morning.

[there's still a comfortable weight from the knot still inside him, and he has to wonder how long it's been. regardless of the answer he doesn't want to get up, let alone move away... a hand reaches for Basch's then, to lace their fingers together. his voice still has a thread of sleepiness to it, warm enough to suggest his smile nonetheless.]

How are you feeling?

[bardische]

[ He freezes, caught between his fear and shame and how incredible grounding it is to have that hand in his. Olivine sounds so content.

Had the mating bond done this? Had Basch addled the other unwittingly? Somehow that felt even worse than doing it on purpose. ]

I -- I'm sorry -- [ Is all he manages to whisper. He doesn't pull his hand away, but tension gathers in his chest, his face. He's ruined this. He's made something gentle and warm and alright ... broken. Monstrous.

But that's what he is now. He should have known better. He should have protected Olivine better.

The impulse to curl into the other for comfort even as he wants to bolt is wildly disorienting, and it results in his body tensing against the other. ]

[massochism]

Sorry...? [that makes his brows knit in concern, looking up at Basch from his position. had... something changed? he'd seemed so happy last night, but...] Basch... you've nothing to apologise for.

[ah, but the idea that he'd pushed for this when the other couldn't refuse is there, as one of the only possibilities he can think of. that makes his stomach turn, and he fights the urge to bite his lip.]

You didn't do anything I didn't ask for, Basch. If anyone should apologise, it's me. I didn't mean to push you into something you didn't want.

[they're idiots, your honour.]

[bardische]

Of course I want you.

[ it’s out of his mouth with no thought, the same way his arms wrap around the other. He’s always cared about Olivine’s safety and comfort, but now it’s like a stab to his core.

Except that’s the problem. He shifts, shuddering at the way his knot is still sensitive.
Right before a wave of nausea hits at >i>having a knot ]

I — weres bond to one mate. Permanently. I didn’t ask before I — I understand if this isn’t something you want.

[massochism]

Ah...

[Olivine exhales a soft noise at that, fingers squeezing lightly. it helps that Basch says he wants him, though it wasn't quite what he'd been apologising for precisely. but...]

Is that all you're worried about? [he does try not to make it sound too dismissive, leaning back into the taller man's chest.] Of course that's something I want. I wasn't just saying those things for no reason, last night... I'm happy with you, Basch.

[bardische]

[ olivine reacts so nonchalantly that basch is sure the other has not understood him. Except he keeps talking, and Basch’s body responds quicker than his mind, cock pulsing.

Still he’s near speechless with trepidation, not sure wear to direct his touch, sure it’s going to become unwelcome even as he years to just curl into the other. ]

Happy enough to be my mate?

[ whispered, but it holds no judgement. No plea either. ]

[massochism]

Happy enough to be your mate.

[now that he has a better measure of things, he can gently tug Basch's hand forward without hesitation, shifting so that his can rest over the back of it while it's on his belly.

He's... very sure of this, really.]

Because... you let me be this selfish, too. To have you for myself. To know you'll always come back to me... that's how selfish I am, wanting you.

[bardische]

[ He finally tips his nose back into Olivine's hair, breathing deeply as his body instinctively wraps around the other. It's everything he wants, and for a moment that want is large enough to outweigh his restraint. ]

You have all that whether you agree to be my mate or not [ he admits quietly. ] You have from the day you found me. I -- you aren't selfish, Olivine. You deserve joy that is dependable and yours. That I'm sure of.

[ He kisses the other's hair, needing to steady himself. ]

If that's me right now, then I am honored. But if it ever isn't, you aren't beholden to this bond. [ Basch was, but he didn't care. Having even a few weeks of bliss like this was more than he ever expected for himself. His commitment was to Olivine's happiness, not his own. Whatever that may bring.

He doesn't notice the knot starting to ease, like it's letting up now that they've affirmed their pairing. ]

[massochism]

Basch...

[for a moment, he's quiet, fingers tracing gently over knuckles and callused skin. He wants to say something, but he doesn't want to upset the other or say the wrong thing... and it's hard to admit, even after this time.]

I don't just agree to be your mate. I want to be your mate. I want to keep waking up like this, warm and happy. But I am selfish... there's a not insignificant part of me that would love to run away from all of this with you. To escape every one of my duties, and the people who only see me as the infallible priest, perfect and holy.

I... [If he thinks about it, it's probably clear in just how fearless he'd been approaching Basch the first time. True, there was a draw to him, but the fact is... if he'd died or been maimed, if anything happened, it would have given him an escape from his life. And he can admit he'd considered it, back then.] ... I'm glad I met you. I don't know what I would have done if I was stuck like that for much longer.

[bardische]

[ This time its easy to wrap around Olivine, his old warm and protective. ]

If that's what you wanted, then I'd follow. And if staying here is what you want, then I'm glad to stay. I -- want to be your mate too. I haven't let myself admit that because it felt unfair to ask.

[ As Olivine keeps talking, his grip tightens. He...hears the undercurrent, if not the full details. ]

I keep worrying I've somehow inconvenienced you, but it seems like some divine hand gave us to each other when we both needed it most. I was...also falling into despair. I don't know how much I'd have fought if you were there to kill me.

[ He holds the other tight again, kissing his hair, this time not resisting the pleasant chill of the lessening knot tensing between them. ] This outcome was beyond my wildest imagination.

[massochism]

Mm-mm.

[His head shakes as he responds to the first comment, all holding Basch the same way.]

The thought is still there, but... I can see past the discontentment, with you. I still love my people deeply, and I want you to be able to feel that love from them too.

[At the admission of his worries and the misunderstandings between them, the priest finally laughs a little.]

Yes... we were both so very lucky. I have thanked God for the opportunity to meet you every night for a long time, now. [Basch pulls him close, holds him tight, and Olivine's hands curl around his arms, body nestling back into him.]

It was beyond mine, too. Being like this, even just spending time together at meals was wonderful... I'd never felt so content before.

[bardische]

[ He's...not sure he wants Olivine to just see past contentment. It's an ache deep inside him, grip tightening again. He wants to shield the other from sorrow and hardship, and make sure he's deeply happy. Is it the mating bond, or just the deepening feelings he has -- he doesn't know. But the unease that it's inappropriate or overstepping feels duller and farther away.

His breath draws a little, though, at Olivine admitting he's thanked his God for Basch. Somehow that...brings home the other's claims of happiness more than anything else has. ]

I wish I'd found you sooner, because it breaks my heart that you were so lonely. [ His voice is low, careful, not quite the full growl of his wolf self, but the relation is still there. ] Mate or guard, I want to give you everything. Meals, companionship, a safe place to set down your burdens, a travel partner when needed. I want to see you happy, where any discontentment is a passing grievance, not a thing to be endured day in and day out.

[massochism]

Basch...

[he squeezes the other once more, tilting his head back against the blond's shoulder.]

It makes my heart race that you feel that way... but I misspoke slightly—I didn't mean that the discontentment is still so strong, exactly. More, it was a part of my life for so much of it, given my relative isolation, that I need to learn how to set it all aside.

[a hand reaches up to brush against the scruff at his jaw.]

You are all of those things for me. And the last thing I want is to lose you ever again.

[bardische]

But it's there [ Basch murmurs, wishing he could roll Olivine to him and cup his face. Instead he nestles against his hair, still holding him tightly. ] I will follow your wishes, but your happiness and wellbeing will always be more important to me than anything or anyone else, duty included.

[ He freezes at the hand on his jaw, then melts into it, turning to kiss whatever ski he can. ]

As long as you want me, I will be with you.

[ It's occurring to him, too, that he was Wolf, and Olivine was better with him than without. That there was mating, but there was no aggression. ]

I -- next month, I can try staying. So long as we have a safety plan.

[massochism]

[It's... unbearably sweet, hearing that. The idea of someone putting him above all else, and the tears he abruptly ends up blinking back are sweet ones. Lips find his palm, gentle and loving and warm.]

In that case, you may be with me for a very long time.

[It's not a warning or an offer of an out, just the reality of how deeply he cares for Basch. He finds himself surprised by the offer then, overwhelmed by relief to hear it. It's true—he's bruised and the few bites that had drawn blood are scabbed over now, but they clearly don't bother him.]

I would like that. We can make preparations from now until then for a safe place for you to stay, should something go wrong.

[He'll be the one putting him there if he has to, of course. The priest promised him that much.]

[bardische]

I have been starting to hope that will be the case [ Basch admits, low and tender but for once not embarrassed or ashamed. It’s clear Olivine wants him, maybe more importantly needs him.

Still the reminder that something could go wrong is enough to make his grip tighten and nearly enough to rescind his offer. But he doesn’t. Olivine proved himself strong, and with their mate bond, Basch does not think he would be able to truly hurt the other. It would be the townspeople who could be in danger. ]

You make me break my own rules, but I am not sorry for it.

[ the knot had finally loosened enough that he sighs, but used the opportunity to slide from olivine and roll the other toward him, gathering him in his arms and tucking his head under his own. ]

Thank you, Olivine.

[massochism]

[that comment earns a little laugh, followed by the soft sigh as Basch slides out of him. rolled easily over, he nestles into the taller man's arms and smiles, fingers tracing idle patterns over his side.]

You make me do the same, you know... [letting him be a real person and all.] you're welcome, and thank you too.

Mmn... I'm tempted to make an excuse so I can stay here instead of working, tomorrow. [that's muffled contentedly into his chest. also, given the run Basch gave him, there's a not insignificant chance he'll be a little weak on his feet come tomorrow. if only he could have that more often.]

[bardische]

Stay with me.

[ the order comes easy. He tells himself it’s because of the mate bond, because he can feel how badly olivine wants another day off, together, because basch is protective.

But it would only be half the truth. ]

I was away too long, and there is not harm in a leisure day.

[massochism]

Alright... I'll have to speak to someone tomorrow, but it shouldn't be any trouble. But I don't want you to feel like you've done anything wrong, Basch.

[His eyelids drift as he speaks, fatigue from everything catching up again.]

You did what you felt was necessary, and I supported that. Mmm, I'm looking forward to just laying about, though. I rarely have the time.

[bardische]

We’re both learning [ he murmurs, shifting around Olivine as the other nestled into him. He may no longer be a wolf, but if someone were to come in right now, he knows he would defend olivine with his entire being. Would even kill some one if it was necessary — gods let it not be. ]

We will teach each other to rest.

[massochism]

That's true. I think we both deserve it. Rest well, Basch.

[Olivine is never worried with Basch near him, but tonight... tonight he feels completely secure. Warm and comforted. It makes drifting off easy, the worry of tomorrow's aches and conversation distant and fragile at best.]