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[bardische]

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[massochism]

[fingers brush over his marked skin and Olivine immediately leans into the warmth of them. His words bring that gaze back up to his, and even without knowing what Basch is actually asking...]

If they were too visible, I could just heal them. I like the way they look, though. It makes me feel important.

[... it's easy to soothe his worries, because he really does feel that way. Contenting himself with just one more peck on the blond's lips is harder, especially as his hands slide up to curl around his shoulders and want to continue up to clinging.

They can do that after they're done cleaning.]

[bardische]

[ That's right. He keeps forgetting Olivine can heal himself too. The last part, though, makes his breath catch a little, eyes getting glossy for a moment. ]

I like the way they look too [ he murmurs. That Olivine wants them there means a lot. He hums in surprise as the other leans up to kiss him, sliding back into the crook of his body. It's so tempting to just stay like this.

He forces his hands to move the towel to Olivine's torso, cleaning his skin as an excuse to stay close. ]

Go lay in the bed when I'm done, and I'll join you in a minute.

[ He takes his time though, checking Olivine's torso and running the towel over his back, between his legs, and delicately rubbing it over his cock. ]

[massochism]

[It occurs to him, as Basch settles in to clean him up, that he... doesn't even feel the usual need to repent and confess, here. A strange thing, but Olivine can hardly make himself mind.]

Okay. Are you sure I can't help with anything?

[It's going to take a long time to kill that habit, if he ever does. But he's happy to follow Basch here, squirming only a little when the towel runs over a particularly sensitive spot.

Finally though, he pulls away, fingers lingering as long as possible before turning toward the bed. At least he can get it prepared for them and settle in.]

[bardische]

[ He catches Olivine's face again, smiling gently even as he makes a note that the other is happier with a task. He can understand that. ]

You're warming up the bed.

[ He doesn't miss Olivine's fingers lingering, and it keeps that sense of awed disbelief alive and well even as his quickly cleans off his own cock and legs before turning to blot out any mess on the bed. All told, it isn't bad, and he wastes no time draping the towel so it can dry before he turns back.

To see Olivine, naked and waiting for him, and that's an image he's not ever going to get used to, he thinks. Even if it makes his heart race and his gaze soft as he closes the space to climb in beside the other man once more. ]

[massochism]

[at least he laughs at that, nodding. it may not seem like much—honestly, it isn't much, but it's something to secure him to this... reality, honestly.]

Okay, then.

[he's certainly warm enough to do so, a fact that amuses him in the moment. to that end, he settles the blankets down around his knees or so, resting his head on his hands as much as the pillows and not quite watching Basch finish up cleaning and setting the towel out to dry.

now that they're (relatively) clean and settled, the effort of the day is finally setting in—the blond climbs in beside him and Olivine practically sticks to him immediately, arms sliding around his torso and cheek nuzzling into his chest.]

[bardische]

[ It really is the right task to give Olivine he thinks as he slides in next to him. It isn't cold now, but on a night it was...

He doesn't even try to hide his contented sigh as Olivine immediately snuggles back into him, not remotely shy about wrapping around him and nuzzling into his chest. Basch shifts a little, settling in comfortably before his hand goes to stroke the back of Olivine's head and top of his shoulders, other arm so naturally finding a place to rest with his hand curled on Olivine's side. ]

It's...not usually this easy. New people fitting together.

[ He'd experienced intense attraction, but that burned hot and fast, usually overpowering concerns he knew would find him later. This wasn't that. It was...warmer, quieter. ]

[massochism]

[Basch is so... comforting and gentle with him, like this. the shift he makes in conjunction with Olivine's desires is fascinating to the priest, really, and he smiles softly at those words.]

That's true. We did have a fair amount of time spent together... but even so. I've heard from many people who struggle even in their long relationships, when they come to confession to receive help in how to move forward with their loved ones.

[part of him wonders if he'll also be like that one day, but the reality would be the same for him anyway. communication is what smooths over those discomforts, almost invariably.]

So, with that in mind... if anything you do is ever bothering me, I'll do my best to speak with you about it.

[bardische]

[ Right. Olivine has a lot more experience with people than Basch does, even if it's listening more than engagement.

He listens thoughtfully, and then sheepishly, because he doesn't feel communication is a strength of his. But -- he can be honest, at least, especially if Olivine keeps meeting it like this. And he knows he can hear criticism and reroute. It's...ever bringing up that he's unhappy that is hard. ]

I will do my best to do the same.

[ He's experienced enough to know the way that tension can grow as a relationship gets longer. It's something that terrifies him, but...it's a quieter fear right now, with how well they've navigated so far. ]

I deeply appreciate your openness.

[massochism]

That's all I would ask of you.

[it's true, he knows, that his ideals of romance and communication are a little thinly padded, built from literature and the limited experience he has listening to people. but that combined with Basch's own willingness to work with him... that's enough, he's sure.]

Is it not so common, being open? I'm glad I can be that way for you.

[an earnest question; he can kind of imagine it's at least less broad than his own, based on his experiences, but... it's a little sad to think that Basch hadn't at least run into more of it. arms squeeze lightly, compassionately, at the thought.]

[bardische]

[ Olivine is...so sweet. And earnest. Basch sighs again, stroking the other's skin, squeezing him back when his grip tightens even as he tries to formulate his response. ]

I don't know, in the greater world. But in the Guard, no, it wasn't common. Our engagements were often secret, and in the rare cases they weren't short-lived, we often didn't acknowledge them outside the privacy of an encounter. Many had political or safety reasons to keep things close to their chests; I don't begrudge them. But I often didn't know why someone was acting the way the way they were until much later, if ever. This -- is very different.

[massochism]

Mm... I can imagine that was difficult for you.

[and everyone else, for that matter... but he does understand that much. They already can't be too brazen about this relationship, at least for a while, but Olivine... hopes to break that necessity eventually.

Lips press to his chest briefly before he speaks again.]

I hope you can always trust in how I feel about you, at least. Regardless of how careful we have to be.

[bardische]

[ He's not very good at having his experiences noticed and sympathized with. It doesn't feel bad, it just isn't something he knows how to react to, and that makes him uncomfortable.

But Olivine's gentle kiss and acknowledgement that their private dynamic can have clarity even if their public doesn't is enough to make him seek out the other's hand to squeeze, not quite trusting his words until he can organize them. ]

I will default to being careful; I do not want to cost you anything. And I don't mind if I am a secret. Having your affection and companionship means a good deal to me, and is more than enough.

[massochism]

Basch... [his fingers squeeze warmly in turn, chuckling softly.] It's hard for me to think of you costing me anything, I admit. If anything, I was at more of a risk of forsaking what I am before this.

And I don't want you to be a secret forever. Even if it's difficult... even then, I think I can show people that this is good for me, and not bad for the church.

[he laughs as he finishes, eyes closing.]

Sorry... that's a bit of a lofty goal that might feel like too much. Right now, I'm just going to take everything day by day. There's no reason to rush, when we already have each other.

[bardische]

[ Normally, being laughed at leaves him feeling shamed and unwanted. But the way Olivine laughs off this concern makes him feel...wanted. Even if his heart doesn't quite believe Olivine will still feel that way in time. ]

Day by day is a good pace. I will follow your lead for how secret or public we are. But...I agree it's good for you.

[ He doesn't know how deep the isolation goes, but the way the villagers treated Olivine....the way the man is so eager to confide...he shouldn't be that alone. ]

[massochism]

Yes. For both of us, I hope.

[a good pace and good for them, both. right now though, he can feel the strain of sex settling in, and so he lets it. relaxing is remarkably easy like this, comfortable and warm.]

Mmn... I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I think I'll sleep well tonight.

[bardische]

[ Basch holds him a little tighter, not quite trusting his voice. A partner caring about his well-being is...not something he's used to.

He melts, though, at Olivine settling so comfortably against him. Knowing he doesn't have to let go, or sneak away, feels surreal. ]

I...feel the same [ he admits, still stroking Olivine gently. He doesn't notice his own body relaxing, tired from the transformation, tired from the sex, and tired from the way he's carried being alone for so long. ]

[massochism]

I'm glad.

[it's all he feels the need to say, or maybe just all he can manage to think of in that moment. sleep comes remarkably easily, his expression relaxing in a way that's subtly different from his normal serenity. a little bit tired, endlessly pleased.

the next morning is an easy one too, with just brief interruptions of those who want to say goodbye to Olivine. it really does seem, despite his lofty pedestal, that they do like him quite a lot—it's just not worked out well for his mental state. after breakfast, it's perhaps half a day's travel to the city, its shimmering waters and bustling markets coming into view and hearing from a decent distance. it's... a very bright city, with many of its buildings made from the white sands and stone native to the region, and the church with its blue stained glass stands tall at the center of it all.

all in all, the reception here is a little different, too. some of it is more subtle—but it's immediately clear that at least the citizens here have spent a good amount of time around him. Olivine is still Your Holiness, but they actually have reasons to talk with him in most cases, he knows them by name, and there's not nearly so much attempting to gift him things. they also regard Basch with much more plain curiosity than hostility here, as obvious as it is he's a guest of the priest's.]

[bardische]

[ That morning is surreal. Basch wakes up slowly, warm and safe, and with a sweet man in his arms. It's a dream he doesn't want to wake up from, and as he slowly comes to, a few silent tears leak from his eyes again, satisfactorily gone by the time Olivine stirs.

It's odd, going back into town after what feels like such a profound change in their relationship. It isn't the first time he's experienced this, but he's never felt the pull to take a hand in his or glance sidelong at his lover the way he does now. He resists, of course; he refuses to cause Olivine any problems. They have each other, and that is more than Basch ever thought he would have. Still isn't sure he ought to have that much.

He carries what Olivine will let him, and for the first time in over a year, heads toward a place with a real population. The dread coils in his stomach, but he does his best to hide it, even if his heart pounds as they cross in. It's so large, and everything is blindingly white. So many people speak to Olivine, many of them showing interest in Basch, who tries to be polite but invisible.

It doesn't remotely rival the size of Rabanastre, but he's so out of practice being around people anymore. He wants to tuck his tail between his legs and run. Literally, which is a concerning thought he uneasily pushes away.

Finally they make it into the church. It's not a space Basch has any real familiarity with, but it is cool, and a good deal quieter, and some greedy part of him wants to have Olivine alone for just a moment, even though they already had so much time this morning. It won't be unreasonable to not get any time with the other for days; all of his tolerances have faded to nothing. He feels shy, like he's already forgetting how to be a man, and he says nothing. ]

[massochism]

[he tries, at least, to take most of the attention from Basch. it's been something he's gotten used to noticing—the man tends to be so skittish in groups, always wanting to be watching but not interacting really. whether that's a case of learned discomfort or introversion doesn't really matter at this juncture.

and it's well past mass when they arrive at the church, so aside from the handful of priests finishing their duties and preparing to head home, regarding the two with little more than a friendly nod or brief greeting along the way. Olivine keeps close to Basch throughout, taking him on a short tour of the church's facilities. once they're past the public-facing area though, he reaches to take the other's hand.]

Sorry for all that. It was probably a bit overwhelming... [he's certainly more relaxed now that they're here, in the relative quiet and comfort of the church with just Basch for company.] There isn't all that much to see now, and I'll have your bedroom set up tomorrow, so we can settle in and decide what to do with the rest of the day soon.

[bardische]

[ It startles him when Olivine's hand slides into his, not because it's unwelcome, but because he didn't expect such an unguarded display of affection, even if they are alone; it's still a church, and someone could still see them.

That doesn't stop him from twining his fingers back, hold loose enough that Olivine could easily pull away as needed, but firm enough to ground them both. At Olivine's apology, he shakes his head, gaze on the floor. He doesn't want the other to feel any sort of guilt for their being back in his home and place of work. ]

I just haven't been in a city in a long time, and even longer since I was there without a duty.

[ Olivine is his duty now, but he hasn't decided the best way to approach being a Guard when it's not culturally expected, and when Olivine really is not in any danger in his daily life. All he knows is he doesn't want to cause problems. ]

Should I find a room in an inn tonight, then?

[massochism]

I guessed as much. I still would have liked to have given you a slightly gentler introduction to it.

[not guilt, per se, but empathy. his fingers squeeze gently as they walk, humming softly at the question. at this point... he's not surprised Basch asks it, actually. because of that, he can let himself lean in a little before he speaks, to remind the blond where he wants him to be.]

If you'd like, you can. But it could be... our little secret that it's not prepared yet, too. I just don't want to spend too much time away from you, right now.

[God, he feels so selfish just uttering the words.]

[bardische]

[ Basch isn't sure anything really would have made him comfortable, so he doesn't say anything. But the squeeze at his hand does call his gaze to Olivine's face, and there's a warmth to his own expression he doesn't realize. It only deepens as Olivine leans into him. ]

If you're comfortable, then I'll gladly stay at your side.

[ Gods, if he knew the other thought it was selfish, he'd -- perhaps not successfully toss that aside, but at least assure Olivine that he wanted him to be selfish, so long as it did not endanger the priest. ]

[massochism]

I'm very comfortable. I'm... quite certain I slept better last night than I have in a long time.

[not that he's ever slept that badly on average, but still. he feels much more refreshed than he's even used to. it's... pleasant, to say the least.

before too long, they'll reach the even quieter back rooms, most of them with open doors and neatly made beds visible inside. just a handful of them, and one closed door nearer the back. Olivine opens it without a hint of hesitation, stepping inside and glancing to the taller man.

the room itself is small but serviceable, and fairly plain, all things considered. there's a writing desk off to one side, the bed and its little nightstand and lamp, and a dresser against the foot of it. everything is plain white (a shared characteristic with the open rooms, if he'd glanced in any), though a few items do rest on the desk. mostly little slivers of gems and rocks, a few neatly arranged sets of jewelry.]

This is it, really. It's nothing special, but the space is comfortable—yours will be much the same, whenever you need to use it.

[bardische]

[ He's...not sure what to say to that, even if it makes his chest feel warm and tight, so he just nods, squeezing Olivine's hand.

The rooms, at least, are more familiar to him. Not wildly different from barracks, though with the higher status of not having to share. Funny, really, that now he wants to. But practically speaking, it will be good for them to have separate spaces to keep what few material possessions they have. And, should they have a disagreement...space to be apart.

Gods, is he really doing this? ]

Is it important that no one see us entering or leaving the other's room? Or anything else I should know about protocol here?

[massochism]

No, there shouldn't be any problems with it. Generally speaking, there aren't many people here, and it's known that I like to check on guests from time to time. Since you've been traveling with me, it also makes sense that you would be welcome to see me for any questions you may have.

[has he been thinking about all of these things since Basch agreed to stay? perhaps. it's so nice, honestly, being able to just... come and go as they please.]

I suppose we'll need to keep a little quiet whenever there are other guests, but...

[he already knows they have ways through that, at least. and it won't be too often.]