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[bardische]

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[bardische]

[ Worry significantly eased with how clearly Olivine is enjoying this, Basch obeys, moaning the other's name quietly. He had promised discretion, and he's long practiced at being quiet. But being able to shout will soon be a fantasy.

And with that, he's tipped over, no longer calculating. He fucks Olivine hard, muscles taught and weight making the other bob beneath him. He thinks about that cock bouncing between Olivine's legs and only pushes harder, the sounds in his throat getting more guttural with every passing moment. ]

Fuck, you're taking this so beautifully. Does it feel as good as you wanted? Does your ass or your cock feel tighter? -- Ah, Olivine, I'm close --

[ The words are low, plucked from memories of what made him hot to hear when he was in Olivine's position. But as his body starts to zing, he can't focus on he words. He's pulling Olivine in to meet his aggressive ruts, his knees starting to ache with the force of it. Olivine is going to be sore tomorrow. ]

[massochism]

[Honestly, Olivine had thought the rut of Basch's cock would get him the most, but then—then he starts speaking. The response is instantaneous, his face burning hot as the words register, one by one. Dirty talk is—not something the books he'd read ever talked about, so it catches him completely off guard. his moan is much louder than he means for about a second, before his face presses harder into the bed to cut it off. Fuck...]

Ye... yes... I'm—huaagh—!

[It's all muffled, but Basch will be able to understand it fine at this distance. His cheeks already sting, the aggressive pace practically brutal on his arms besides. Even with his routines, he's definitely going to be sore tomorrow. The thought is absolutely thrilling.]

Please—Basch... need... I need it. So close—

[come inside me already. he's so fucking close, cock dripping and muscles clenching around the invading length, gasping breaths lost in the sheets.]

[bardische]

[ Basch isn't always one for it -- he usually feels too self-conscious. But Olivine's tastes are close enough to his own that he can mimic, at least.

And gods, the way Olivine writhes under him, gasping encouragement is so alluring. It's hard to feel self-conscious with the man begging for more.

He wants Olivine to come first, but it's not a battle he's going to win tonight, not with the way Olivine clenches around him, trying to keep himself quiet in the sheets. Basch folds over, grasping Olivine tightly to him as he ruts as hard as he can, biting Olivine's shoulder to muffle his own shuddering groan as his body stutters to frozen, orgasm bursting over him harder than it has in a very long time. ]

[massochism]

[he may not win the battle, but he doesn't lose it, either. Basch folds over and grasps him close, pulls a muffled howl from him with that bite, and his body falls to trembling and whining.

the feel of it alone is enough to completely ruin his senses, hips pressed up hard into Basch's own as heat fills him. it's utterly overwhelming in the most pleasant way, and his own orgasm comes immediately after the first pulse of it. fuck, fuck...]

Nngh... haah... so good...

[bardische]

[ He can feel Olivine trembling below him, and the moment he has control of his faculties, he pulls the other to him, stabilizing them both as he pulses a few more slower thrusts, working Olivine through his orgasm.

And then, breathing heavily, body covered in sweat, he collapses onto his side, tugging Olivine with him, staying slotted into the other but giving his neck and knees a well-deserved rest. Plus, it's easier to gather him close and press a few kisses to his shoulders and head like this, brushing back his stray hair. He doesn't need to ask if Olivine liked it. That was abundantly clear. Instead he entwines his legs in the other's, just enjoying holding his too-warm body and listening to his labored breathing. ]

[massochism]

[as Basch collapses with him, tugging him close and still together, it occurs to Olivine that this is... truly, something he's never felt. not just the sex—that's obvious—but this feeling of comfort and closeness. it's a little overwhelming.

Basch rains kisses to his shoulders and head, rights his hair, and Olivine lets his hands curl around an arm. he doesn't have to wonder if he's accepted, here. doesn't have to fear the probability of judgment, even with how deeply satisfied he is with the warm sting of everything he's been given. legs twine and he leans back into the taller man's chest, letting his body catch up and his breathing slow and calm.]

... thank you, Basch.

[it's the softest, warmest thanks he's ever given, full of wonder and attraction and affection.]

[bardische]

[ It's overwhelming for Basch too, but for once in his life, he holds the precious thing close instead of resigning himself that he can't have it.

The minute Olivine doesn't want this, he'll walk away, no protest. But that isn't tonight. Olivine so clearly needs this as much as he does, if not more.

Olivine settles into him, clutching him back, and he sighs, his body calming in turn. And when Olivine speaks, Basch feels like his heart doesn't know whether to break or sore. He squeezes Olivine. ]

You too, Olivine.

[ It's...lame. Anticlimactic. Not anywhere near what he wants to express. But it's full of awe and warmth and at least that he can always offer. ]

[massochism]

[it pulls a little giggle from his lips, pure and light in its pleasure, and Olivine tilts his head up to just catch him at the corner of his gaze.]

Was it that nice for you, too? I'm glad...

[he doesn't want to move at all right now, so he just shifts his hand to find Basch's, to lace his fingers between them. eyes close before he speaks again, humming.]

It really was just as good this way... ah. We can move whenever you want to. I like how it feels now.

[bardische]

Yes [ he says, maybe too enthusiastically, maybe still too in awe. But he wants Olivine to know this is special to him, too. He's glad when the other shifts into him, not quite ready to pull out, and certainly not ready to let him go. ]

I like how this feels too. It will become uncomfortable, but for now...

[ He kisses Olivine's hair again, curling their entwined legs up closer. ]

And I am inclined to hold you for the better part of the night, if you like it. I -- don't have to leave this time.

[massochism]

[hands squeeze gently as Basch kisses his hair, pulls him up closer.]

For now. [an easy agreement, and he nods at the continuation.]

I would like that. [quiet for a moment, as he considers whether to say what he thinks.] ... I can't remember the last time I was held by someone.

[that's... depressing. but he doesn't feel right, keeping the information from Basch like this.]

I'm glad it's you... and that you can stay.

[bardische]

[ This information doesn't surprise him, but it makes him feel sad and warm all at once. Olivine deserved to have had this much sooner, but he's still glad to be giving it now.

It's been a long time for me. [ It's quiet, not something he usually talks about. ] Not just because of the curse.

[ He'll always meet honesty with honesty. Especially when Olivine is so unbelievably welcoming. ]

If I'm able, I will always want to stay. [ It feels...heavy, to say so early, but he knows himself, and he knows how he feels, and it's true. ]

[massochism]

[another squeeze of his hand, and he looks up through his lashes at Basch.]

Then I guess that makes us a good fit, doesn't it?

[he doesn't question the why, and his tone belies his thankfulness to be treated with such honest responses.

... and then Basch uses always, though he can tell it isn't a simple thing for him to say. that alone twists warmly in his chest, fills a hole he never knew was there. they went from assuming this was going to end for so long to accepting each other so completely, in such a short amount of time... it's warm. wonderful. a little frightening.]

... I may greedily hold you to that, you know... [his voice is quiet then, but honest. to have someone for himself, someone he's come to care so much for in this short time... could he let that go again later? it's already hard enough to be apart from him during his transformation.] I already don't want you to be away from me, if you don't have to.

[bardische]

I guess it does

[ He agrees, shy awe in his voice. He...may never feel worthy of Olivine. He knows that. But it won't stop him from giving everything he can to the other until he decides he wants something other than Basch. Right now, he's not worried about that happening for a good long while, and so he doesn't worry about future sadness. Nor does he notice that he's pushed that timeframe so much farther out. ]

You can hold me to it. I...like clingy. [ Another thing that was dangerous to admit for so long. But Olivine's admissions have his eyes stinging, even if his mind is telling him that will change; he's Olivine's first, and that's clouding his judgement. But even if that's true, it doesn't diminish how much he wants to live up to the other's desires. ]

I intend to serve you as long as you want me, Olivine. I'll only leave for your safety. You have my word. You will not be able to ask too much of me.

[massochism]

Really...?

[he'd never considered that clinginess could be a desirable trait, but it's so easy to believe in Basch. there's so much he doesn't know anyway... and the continuation, the blond giving his word to stay no matter what... Olivine laughs, the sound quiet and elated.]

Maybe... maybe sometime you'll be able to see how well I can protect myself too, then. And then you can trust me to be with you more. [the way he says trust is definitely less severe than a true trust—just that Basch needn't worry about him so much. but he's not about to rush it.] I'll try to remember that, though.

[bardische]

[ It's a lot harder to be embarrassed by his tastes when they're so deeply fulfilled by the man in his arms, instead of some hypothetical ideal everyone else seems to think it's possible. That matters less now. Everything matters less than the way Olivine laughs.

But at Olivine's vision of the future, Basch holds him tighter, his voice strained. ] You aren't the one I don't trust. Olivine I...attacked a man I'd been close to for years. He nearly died. I can't...

[ He doesn't finish the sentence, but he presses his nose into Olivine's hair, tears threatening, and he feels guilty seeking this comfort when Olivine can hardly leave his arms. Hells, Basch is still inside him, admitting how unworthy he is. ]

[massochism]

I know.

[he'd guessed the reason for Basch's guilt, even if not the severity of it. a hand reaches up to touch the blond's cheek and through his hair.]

But I won't let you do something you regret, Basch—you can trust me on that. If you attacked me, I would find a way to subdue you before I came to serious harm.

[eyes closing, he continues his gentle motions.]

I want you to be able to believe that one day, so you don't have to carry this all alone. And I won't rush you... but I also won't let you forget that you still have worth. You're not just the sum of your mistakes.

[bardische]

[ The tears spill, albeit silently. He doesn't have the wherewithal to protest, or to elaborate. But he's growing soft, and it's harder to stay so connected to Olivine like this, and so he arches back, sliding from the other.

Only to wrap right back around Olivine, not pulling away from that touch to his face and hair. He doesn't deserve this, but knowing it's offered when Olivine has seen...damn near all of him...is something he didn't think was possible.

But he's so unused to anyone seeing his needs or emotions, and he feely paralyzed by the vulnerability of it, and the guilt of turning this beautiful evening into something sad. ]

[massochism]

[this, at least, Olivine understands. to be alone with your feelings, guilty for having them and vulnerable besides—Basch had only just shown him much the same, hadn't he? the soft hitch of breath he gives as the blond slides free of him is nothing, especially when he's wrapping right around him again.

warm, real. there's nothing sad about this, to the priest. as difficult as it may be, he's happy to work through that difficulty for someone who cares so much about him and who he cares about in turn.]

Mm, let me turn...

[gently, he wiggles enough to get the space to turn himself around, wanting to pull Basch closer to his front. until he can let Basch bury his face in his shoulder while they remain twined together. in this moment, he can say for certain that if he is too naive, if something were to happen... he would still be glad for this. to be helped and to help, to care so deeply.]

[bardische]

[ For all his experience, Basch has had so few people care deeply about him who had the opportunity to show him, or who didn't die. Which always felt like his fault.

Olivine gives an order, albeit a gentle one, and his mind obediently follows, loosening his grip enough for the other to shift. He isn't expecting how much Olivine repositions himself, though, and almost resists being cradled against the smaller man's shoulder.

But it's too warm, and too soft, and too weirdly right. They fit together so well, and it feels like it's the safety of this that is allowing old wounds to finally air, ghosts rattling his body as they leave. ]

Not...tonight [ He murmurs as his breathing settles a little, tears dampening his hair and Olivine's alike. ] But I will answer any questions you ask me.

[massochism]

[He's beautiful like this, too. Olivine's heart breaks for how much he must be carrying, how long he must have carried it alone... but there's so much trust in this moment, even he can tell.

They really do feel so perfect together. Like this and every other way they've spent time together... he smiles softly as Basch speaks, voice tender in his emotion.]

I'll do the same. [this time it's his turn to nuzzle into Basch's face, pressing his lips there as fingers continue soothing through his hair.] But I don't have many questions. I'm curious about you, of course... I don't want you to feel obligated to tell me though.

[bardische]

[ It's one thing to soothe, and another thing entirely to be soothed. He's nearly startled by Olivine nuzzling into him, but he submits to it, something between a hum and a whimper as their lips meet. But his body is calming down, and the hand in his hair is wonderful. ]

Nothing about you is an obligation.

[massochism]

I feel the same about you.

[The words are quiet and sure, glad to feel how Basch is calming down. He's not really used to being able to offer so much, so it's almost overwhelming in the best way.

It reminds him, briefly, of their first meeting. Of the look in Basch's eyes as he was in the midst of changing back. He really was so lucky that he'd even gotten the chance...

... although now that they're relaxing and his mind is starting to process properly again, he does have to ask—]

... what do we do about the mess?

[bardische]

[ It's occurred to him, too, that if they'd met any other way, this probably wouldn't have happened. And that feels too big to really understand.

Olivine's question, thankfully, pulls a warm, watery laugh from him. ]

I'll get up and get a towel, and we can sleep in the other bed. We'll clean up the worst of it, and the rest will mostly dry clear.

[ But...he doesn't make much effort to move yet. ]

[massochism]

Alright... I wasn't sure if it would still be too obvious.

[that's really the most plain reminder of how little experience Olivine has, of course. even so, he's of a similar mind to Basch—moving before they must is a difficult idea to swallow, so he doesn't even try.]

Do you want to stay here a little longer, or leave tomorrow? It will take a few days to reach the city, but once we're there I can prepare a room in the church for you. I stay there too, so it can be more of just a formality, but I like the idea of having a place you can come back to, even if I'm not there right away.

[bardische]

If someone is clearly looking, we may be out of luck. [ He doesn't want to stress Olivine, but he isn't going to lie either. ] But it won't draw attention. If that's something you're concerned about, we can do it differently next time.

[ Next time. It makes his heart skip, and he holds Olivine a little tighter, even before the question comes. ]

I don't think there's anything to keep us here. And you've been gone a long while. I...think that would be good, yes.

[ About the rooms. He's having trouble even saying it. Because he hasn't had a place to stay in months, thought he never would again, and the idea that it's both to give him his autonomy and to cover for inviting him into Olivine's space...

It's just too many kindnesses to hold at once. ]